Down Time

I have had no agenda for the past week.  What a relief!  Life is so complicated these days that when you finally get a short spell where you don’t have any responsibility other than to exist and observe the world around you, it presents you with an opportunity to be open and observant.

We drove to Savannah last Sunday, with a stop overnight in Gainesville to see my youngest daughter for dinner.  Just the act of driving away from life’s circumstances releases the heaviness of the present.  I felt unencumbered and light.  All we had to do was talk and plan our week with no real schedule facing us.  We visited Caitlin and I marveled at how she has suddenly grown up!  She is enjoying her independence and is fully engaged in her life at school.  I think I saw her through unencumbered eyes for the first time because all I needed to do was to be with her without an agenda.

We were on our way the next morning to visit my wife’s cousin and watch him do some business in Savannah.  He created and manages a business that shows tour videos in hotels in major vacation cities.  He invited us to tag along with him for a few days while he shot some video, and since we have never explored Savannah, we combined that with a visit to some friends on Hilton Head Island, just a short drive further up the coast.

During our time in Savannah, my wife and I decided to take a city tour on one of the many open-air trolleys in Savannah.  In thirty years of marriage we had never done that.  Having been in the television production business for all those years, we had been to thousands of places working, but never as tourists.  What a new experience!  So for an hour and a half I was just a human blob absorbing everything without having to really concentrate.  As I listened to the tour guide droning on in the background, I dozed on and off and really didn’t care about what I was seeing or hearing.  It was divine!

Having no agenda frees your mind to dream and create possibilities.  That happens too rarely for most of us.  For the idle rich and comfortably retired, I imagine that being in the flow of no real pressure constantly might be boring after a while, but for me, it was a balm for my soul.  I have found myself actually dreaming up solutions to problems I face without concentrating on solving them!  How novel!

Our friends on Hilton Head took us to a Jazz Club last night for dinner and a show and I had the best time I have had in years just because I was unburdened by worries.  My spirit was able to soar with the music and I found myself getting lost in the pure joy of the moment.  I need more of this!  During the day, I had tagged along with my friend as he handled some responsibilities and errands, but I had no obligation to do anything but observe and comment while I closed my eyes and let the sun warm my face as we drove around.  He was dealing with real estate problems and other responsibilities and I knew that none of it concerned me.  How liberating!

Now I sit here on Saturday morning, a week later, wondering how the time evaporated so quickly!  When you have no agenda, everything just flows so easily that you lose track of time completely.  Tomorrow we start the long drive home, and while I long for the comfort of my own bed and the balmy breezes of Naples evenings, I also know that I have a long ‘list’ waiting for me when I get there.

So what do I learn from this, and what message of value can I pass along to you?   Take more vacations!!  It is easy to underestimate their value. 

And if you can’t take more vacations, live your life a little easier. Don’t take it all too seriously.   Remember that we are only here for a short while, and if you don’t find the opportunity to observe the beauty of the world and the loving people around you, none of the rest of your life is worth it!  Even short spells of 'no agenda' re-charge you with new energy, and make facing life's daily challenges somehow less daunting.

Can We Find More Cheese?

I read a wonderful book about 8 years ago called “Who Moved My Cheese?” by Dr. Spencer Johnson.  It is a short book that is a parable, and an amazing way to look at change in your work and in your life.  It is the story of two mice who find their cheese at the same place every day until one day they don’t!  It just stops appearing outside the mousehole door.

One mouse eventually decides that the cheese has left for good and successfully goes out to discover another source of cheese.  The other mouse insists that if he waits long enough, the cheese will reappear.  Well, guess what?  He patiently waits for the cheese to reappear (which it never does) and he ultimately dies because he cannot bring himself to believe that his cheese is really gone for good.

In life, when your cheese is moved, you have to accept that someone has moved it, and you must search for new cheese.  That is what is happening in our American society today.  Our cheese, (the way we derive our economic sustenance has moved).  Yet many of us believe that if we just wait long enough it will come back.  Sorry folks, not gonna happen!

If we continue to wait for the economic climate to change back to what we had for the last 25 years we are going to ultimately 'starve'.   Change is needed.  Our leaders must look for cheese in another place since it is they who have the power to regulate and change conditions.  And herein lies the biggest problem we face.

The opposition party in today’s political universe is a party that really has no interest in change (looking for more cheese) or actually governing.  The Republican party has been co-opted by extremist voices like Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin and Glen Beck.  They feed the party base’s frenzy instead of trying to curb or channel it.  They turn obstructionist rather than bi-partisan, so they prevent the administration from actually dealing with the crises that face us.  They oppose regulation of Wall Street; they want to preserve the culture of lobbyist privilege and influence; they preach fear and the paranoia of Socialism, Naziism, and Communism hiding behind the curtains of the Oval Office. 

Elections, as agents of change,  tend to be determined by events and economic conditions rather than rationality. So the possibility of Tea Bagger Republicans winning big in the elections next fall because of the slow pace of change, the rising level of unemployment and the administration’s difficulty dealing with problems that require creative bi-partisan solutions is real.  What will that mean?

"The result would be that the United States would essentially become ungovernable in the middle of an ongoing economic disaster.  The point of all this is that the takeover of the Republican Party by the irrational right is no laughing matter" says Paul Krugman of the New York Times.  When Rush Limbaugh and his ilk made their appearance on the front lines of ‘talk radio’ back in the early 90’s I instinctively knew that they would be bad news for America.  I could never have imagined their present prominence, however, or their twisted arguments trying to stop positive change in its tracks.

The mice who believe the cheese will reappear if they just wait long enough may succeed in shackling the mice who are trying to find the new cheese to the front door of the mousehole!

What's So Bad About Universal Health Care?

Last night I happened to be channel cruising on my cable system and dropped into Michael Moore’s documentary “SICKO”, examining America's health care crisis.  I had heard a lot about it over the past year or two but never had the opportunity to view it.

RENT IT OR SEE IT SOMEHOW!!

It is classic Michael Moore in terms of his hyperbolic yet understated reaction to what he finds when he explores the health care systems of Canada, the UK, and France, and then compares those systems to what we have here in the US, but the people he meets and the stories they tell will give you a sense of shame and anger that will remain with you for a long time.

God Bless him, he goes to all these countries and walks the halls of the hospitals, clinics and doctor’s offices, and actually talks (in more than 30 second sound bites) to real people who participate in these systems—both health care workers and patients.  He holds round-table discussions with expatriated Americans who live in these countries and who have experienced both systems as well as native born citizens in each country.

The picture that emerges is shocking, really.  All the myths that health industry lobbyists would have you believe regarding long waits and citizen dissatisfaction are just that – myths.  I am sure that some people are unhappy with some things, no system is perfect.  That is endemic to any bureaucracy.  But the picture that emerges of the lives of people who are not always thinking about being bankrupted by medical costs will give you pause……they seem so…..relaxed!   They all seem content with the health care systems in their own countries, and are amused and sympathetic with our preoccupation with cost; and horrified with the lack of readily available care, both critical and preventative, that  we experience here in America.  I guess you would expect as much from a Michael Moore documentary.

But, if you listen closely and really ponder the difference between what you see on the screen and how we all feel about the care we get here in the US, you will be so disgusted and shamed by what you see and hear that you will want to call your representatives in Congress and tell them to get off their fat asses and just change the system!  The tales of despair and downright neglect for our people are ….overwhelming!

I am left with the images of desperate economically underprivileged people  remaining sick and  no one caring about them.  I see case after case of middle class and working class citizens bankrupt or unable to get needed treatment because insurance companies deny them coverage or benefits.

And by the way, how come anyone over 65 in our country is not desperate when it comes to things medical?  Could it be that Medicare takes the worry out of getting care?  Omigod, does that mean we are socialists at heart??  A universal health care system for old people?  What about the rest of us???

I am not preaching socialism here, I am preaching humanism and morality for God’s sake!  Look at the statistics!  Our rankings in the international community for life expectancy, mortality, infant mortality and illness among the population fall lower than 30th place in all cases!

These are facts!  We don’t care about our population!  Money is the driving force behind health care in this country.  Private hospitals deny care to people who can’t pay, and are content to see people die in their emergency rooms waiting for transport to public hospitals!  Insurance companies are only concerned with how much money they can squeeze out of their enrollees and not what care they actually need.  There is no focus on preventative care here in America, while in other societies there is a constant preoccupation with preventative measures.

Wake up everyone!  We don’t have it so good here!  Our priorities are not right!  Watch this documentary and you decide, but watch it you must!  And then, for all our sakes, take some kind of action!  Before it is too late......

Read this editorial

A Question of Conviction

I read an editorial by David Brooks in the New York Times this morning that is one of the best pieces he has written lately.  It asks the question whether the President has the determination and tenacity to win if he commits more troops to the war effort in Afghanistan.  While all of us listen to the arguments about troop levels and counter-insurgency and Taliban attacks, Brooks asks a simple question: If Obama commits troops, is he committing himself?  Is he going to have the determination to follow through and make this his war;  his own priority ahead of things he clearly is more passionate about like health care and energy independence? 


The debate is really about the man and what is important to him, since he ultimately will decide.  The most important meeting will be “the one with the mirror, in which he looks for some firm conviction about whether Afghanistan is worthy of his full and unshakable commitment.”, says Brooks.

That is a very perceptive take on this whole issue and is really one that all of us can relate to.  When was the last time any of us really succeeded without that firm conviction that we were following the right course of action?  I doubt we had the weighty implications that Obama has with this commitment, but we all understand that moment when we must affirm to ourselves that we have the conviction we need to succeed.  It is the point of no return.

Until that tenacity is visible to those surrounding you, everyone will hedge their bets as to what direction they each will take in the event you don’t show the conviction necessary to complete the task. 

As for me, I think we have had enough war and bloodshed in Afghanistan.  We don’t have a partner there.  We instead have a corrupt government that is only concerned about perpetuating it’s poppy crop and marketing opium worldwide!  We have a situation that will continue to devour our young men and provide us no additional security against attack.  We are spending more than 10 times the amount of our tax money in Afghanistan than we spend in Pakistan, and that is where the Taliban are actually hiding!  Not to mention the fact that Pakistan has nuclear weapons that are certainly less secure than we would like!  For eight years we have been pouring our treasure and blood into an effort that has showered only death and grief on our people.  We can’t save the world.  We can only be an example to the world.  Let us come back to that conviction!

Are our priorities backwards?  If we are going to ‘nation build’ why not do it here in the good ole' US of A?  We could sure use some of that cash!!  Let’s show some tenacity and commitment to helping our countrymen at home.

Is it time for all of us have a meeting with the person in the mirror and ask ourselves whether we have the tenacity and conviction to fix our problems here …..  starting with our own families and ending with our country’s desperate need for new thinking on race, greed, humanity and compassion, not to mention health care, energy, taxes, and the economy?

Distant Thunder Getting Closer......

I am so thrilled that the current recession is over!  Listen to the Wall Street pundits, the banking gurus, our government experts and it seems like prosperity is just around the corner.  Just this nagging little thing called unemployment is standing in the way of our getting back to ‘normal’.

Wake up folks!

We are in for a long haul, and it is going to get worse before it gets better.  ‘Normal’ ain’t coming back for a loooong time.  I don’t have to read all the reports and projections.  Neither do you.  Just ask your friends! 

How many of you have stories to relate about your friends or acquaintances having difficulty?  Either they are out of a job, having trouble getting a modification for their mortgage (Hey, why do they need one in the first place?), having to get part time work tutoring, or at the diner, or doing childcare.  How many of your kids can’t afford nannies or baby sitters and leave the kids off with you for the day while they go to work or look for work?

If you have a small business, are your credit cards maxed out?  What if you needed $10,000 for an emergency to buy inventory or make payroll?  How many times could you meet that need compared to a year ago?  Thank God gasoline has been steady—what would happen to your budget if it went back up to $4/gallon?  Can you afford to make that health insurance payment since it doubled when you turned 61?  How many of your friends have increasing medical bills and needs and no insurance at all?

How many of you have lost 50%+ in your retirement accounts?  And the stock market is back to 10,000+!  (Has your retirement account recovered?)  How many of you have basically tapped out your home equity lines?  How many of you are burdened by credit card debt where the banks are charging you anywhere from 15-30% interest, and you can’t reduce the balance enough to make the payments less every month?  How many of you are worried where the money is going to come from for all four years of your kid’s college education?

How about real estate?  Anyone freaked out about mortgage payments you are making on real estate investments that have declined in value by almost 50%?  No one is buying anything except the lowest bracket buyers, and they are buying foreclosures, short sales and auction properties.  How many homes in your neighborhoods are up for sale or foreclosed already?

My point is that the signs are all around us.  When you look at them one at a time it is daunting but psychologically manageable.  But when you collectively take stock of the state of the nation and its people, it is very discouraging.  You hear the employment projections every night on the news—after a while your mind is desensitized to it. 

The biggest segment of the population right now is the Baby Boomer generation—people born in the late 40’s and early 50’s.   76 Million babies were born in this post WWII generation.  They are all reaching retirement age now.  How many of them can afford to retire?  What happens when Social Security craters?  In a society where information industries have eclipsed service industries, how many of these people are equipped to be out searching for jobs in the new information environment?  By the way, who is going to hire a 60 year old?

I am a Boomer.  I can’t think of one friend I have in my demographic that has told me what a grand time this is to be living in, and how they are so glad they provided adequately for these years.  The stories I hear are about the fact that they are running out of money, or they are broke already.  Business has dried up.  Those that are entrepreneurs are struggling, with declining revenues for their businesses.  Their credit lines have disappeared.  One friend whose husband is a lawyer said that they don’t know how long they can continue to live on their savings before exhausting it.  What will they do then?

How does a 60 year old person who has been successful all their lives and has had a career, and who expected to be able to ‘take their foot off the accelerator’ at this point in their lives, compete with people hungry for jobs who are twenty and thirty years younger?  They don’t.

Of the 76 million Boomers born, only a small percentage of those are entrepreneurs.  The vast majority are wage earners with limited or fixed incomes.  When those people lose their jobs or their savings, what will they do?  Who will take care of them as their medical needs become greater and all their savings run out?

These are penetrating questions with no answers.  But it is clear to me that as we pass into 2010, the condition of all working class and middle income people is going to get worse.  The dollar is going to continue to lose value and there will be much more unemployment, human suffering, hunger and possibly civil unrest.  One thing we can count on is little or no help from our lawmakers.  They are all living in a bubble in Washington.

What can we do?   We can be kinder to each other.  We are going to have to find new ways of living in our communities that are more about sharing and not so much about consuming.    Pull your families and friends closer to you.  There is strength and comfort in compassion and empathy.  We are all truly in this together and I hope we ultimately see the rise of new kinds of leaders to usher us in to a new kind of era.

I don't want to be completely negative here, but I can't help remembering the words of the old Dylan song:

“Come senators, congressmen
 Please heed the call
 Don't stand in the doorway
 Don't block up the hall
 For he that gets hurt
 Will be he who has stalled
 The battle outside ragin'
 Will soon shake your windows *)
 And rattle your walls
 For the times they are a-changin'..”

Sleep Study II

Sleep Study II

I never thought I would be able to sleep with a hose connected to my nose.  I looked like an elephant to myself!  And yet, there I was Wednesday night with all the wires on my body again, only this time with the CPAP attached to my nose.  I have to tell you….it was the best night of sleep I have had in a very long time!  I slept all through the night without waking up and felt more rested than I have in months!  I walked in the door the next morning and my wife sat up and said I sounded ‘different’.  My voice was stronger and more vibrant than she had heard it in months.

Sleep science has made incredible gains over the last 20 years.  Doctors have discovered that sleep apnea can have hugely deleterious effects on your health.  People who snore are at risk.  When you snore it is symptomatic of airway blockage. 

Blockage can be anything from oversize tonsils to lack of muscle tone in your throat.  Whatever the reason, the result is that as your body relaxes during sleep, the blockage starts to occur and you eventually can’t get enough air--you can’t breathe!  The deeper and more restful sleep your body seeks, the more it relaxes.  Unfortunately your body’s desire for oxygen trumps the ability to get to the deepest level of sleep where you get the most restorative rest. The result is that you never get to the ‘REM’ state of sleep where you get the most benefit. 

If you think about it, there are lots of resultant problems:  You never feel truly rested, you fall asleep during the day, you have less energy and therefore exercise less, you are probably overweight because of it.  Overweight people have a cascade of other problems that result from that: cardiovascular disease, diabetes, kidney problems,etc. 

I asked the technician the other night what age groups of people does she see the most.  Her answer was disconcerting to say the least!  She said in the beginning 15-20 years ago she was seeing mostly people 50 and above.  Now she says that 25% of her patients are in their 20s and 30s!  She said that most of those patients are big or overweight.   That is congruent with the national problem we are having with obesity in children and young adults.

Does that mean we are destined to be a nation of sleep deprived, unhealthy people?  People who don’t get enough rest tend to be overweight, have decreased short-term memory and a level of alertness that is below what is needed for us as a nation to be competitive on the world stage.  

Didn’t mean to go so ‘global’ on that jag, but it is kind of scary.  Sleep is still a part of life that is a mystery to most of us.  We spend a third of our lives in that state and aren’t really aware of what is going on during those times….

Anyway, I am looking forward to restful, healthy, positive pressure air clearing away the cobwebs of my mind……….

Shaune Lauren Lancit

My daughter, Shaune, has been pestering me to write a column about her.  I have hesitated because I don’t really know how to capture all the feelings I have about her in a short essay.  I have spent many hours considering how I would write about her and what I would say.

Being a parent is such a complicated experience.  We never ponder the length of service we sign on for when we father a child.  We don’t think about the fact that for the rest of our days we will have this person in our lives, for better or for worse.  We have no concept of the responsibility, the trials, the joys, the pain, the anxiety, the terror, the happiness, the anger, the pride, the love we are going to experience for the rest of our days because of this human being we have created.  When Cecily and I discovered that Shaune was coming, all we could think about was the ‘baby’ and the immediate future.  The rest of it was just a haze of possibility with no real thought as to the magnitude of the task that lay ahead of us.  We just knew we would do what everyone else did who had a child.

Shaune is 25 years old.  Those are my 25 years as well.  40% of my life has been about her.  I could never have imagined the journey—it is so overwhelming.  Any description of her; any column I could write about her is about me too.  She is a product of me, a result of me, a consequence of me.  We are told by all the psychiatrists that we are not responsible for the actions of our children; that their decisions in life are wholly their own, that we should not feel responsible for what they choose for themselves.  Do you parents out there really believe that?  Perhaps that is true on a functional level, but not on a metaphysical one—at least for me.

I could never have imagined what her life (or mine for that matter) has become thus far.  It has been a path with unbelievable twists and turns.   It is the quintessential adventure for both of us that we could never have planned.

The biggest surprise is that my daughter has become what every father at his core wants for his child.  He wants her to be healthy, happy, self-aware and fulfilled.  We both know that her success in reaching this state of being was incredibly difficult, and is by no means locked in forever.  It can all disappear in a heartbeat.  We know this because it was a struggle to get here.  We know this because we are both aware of the vagaries and fickleness of life.  But we also know that being here, now, in each other’s lives with each of ourselves basically intact is the most joyous thing.  We share our lives, our love, our family.  We don’t know what tomorrow may bring, but we are thankful for today and the journey we have made together so far.

We are the lucky ones.  I love you my darling Honeysuit!  You have given me one helluva ride, and I wouldn’t have missed it for the world!