I Need Relief--PLEASE!

 When you have a nagging problem that just simply hangs on it just becomes really irritating and.... tiring over time!  If you have a hunk of food caught between your teeth, it is frustrating and infuriating when you can't get rid of it, and you don't have access to dental floss anytime soon!

 That is something I am feeling with the almost constant drumbeat of anticipation about Trump's impending indictments.  It is just so tiring!  You can't turn on the news without the lead story being about this disgraced man howling some incoherent charge about chaos and destruction being a result of all these witch hunts trying to destroy him.  All I want to know is when will he simply disappear from all our consciousness?

 

Our country and our existence for the past 7 years has been sullied with the rancidness of his presence, no matter whether you love him or hate him.  He just always seems to be present, either just below the surface or making his presence overwhelm us at all times when we don't want to hear about him. 

 

When will it stop!

 

Normal politics and relative equanimity seem like a distant almost forgotten memory.  He's just such a victim, isn't he?  And his constant incitement to violence is so malevolent!  He is just such a fetid hunk of meat caught in my molars!  I just want him gone.  And I don't think we will be free of this piece of toilet paper caught on our shoes until he just disappears or expires, which will not be soon enough unfortunately, ---unless we all just send him an unlimited amount of high cholesterol foods and get some of his sycophants to force feed him really fatty french fries!

 

Our media's frenzy in breathlessly and incessantly analyzing all the possibilities and permutations of the impending indictments is a waste of mental space.  They give him airtime where he spews his sordid, filthy rhetoric.  My tolerance for watching any of television's endless news programs becomes less and less each time they snag my attention, because within 30 seconds it becomes apparent that I have heard it all already and it is a waste of space polluting my cerebral file space.

 

We just can't seem to be rid of this piece of schmutz- and I am just.....tired!  

 

Either charge the asshole or shut up, all of you so called prosecutors.  Thanks for nothing, Merrick Garland!  You have proven yourself not up to the job.

 

Lord, just make him .....gone.....PLEASE!

A Simpler Life

 

A friend asked me recently why I haven't written anything in my blog for a long while.  I was quiet for a moment as I tried to articulate why I have felt the ennui that has blocked me from writing.  I somehow believed that by writing, I could express what seemed rational to me.  What I have learned is that rationality is overrated.  Truth has become a value-less commodity.  Ultimately, I think I just surrendered the belief that I could have any effect.  I've been around for 75 years, and I can't remember a time when everything has seemed so complicated; so out of control.  We all keep telling ourselves that 'things are alright', but we know on some level that they aren't.  We have entered an era of misinformation and deception.

 

It's true that the political situation in America has perhaps been the biggest disrupter, leaving all of us anxious about the state of our democracy.  For all my life, I never worried about that.  It is terribly unnerving and frightening to become aware that the foundational tenet of our safety has been fractured and in danger of collapse at the hands of irrational politicians and others whose only God is money and power.  The most demoralizing effect of all this is the realization that a significant portion of my countrymen believe a lie so monstrous that loss of life is of no consequence to them.  A coup attempt and insurrection seems to not be a problem for a large minority of our population.  This is demoralizing to me.

 

But there is also the rise of authoritarianism in the rest of the world, the increasingly fragile economy of the world, and, most importantly, the ability of humanity to see what is going on everywhere all at once.  It becomes overwhelming.  In all of history up until the last several decades, our awareness of the immensity and complexity of human activity, and pervasiveness of human cruelty was veiled because our ability to see and hear about such things was limited by communication technology.  Now, our awareness is hyper-sensitized because our existence has morphed into uninterrupted screens of everything we want to know and everything we don't want to know about.

 

Perhaps our children can contend with this new reality because they are 'children of the screens', but we are not.  I do my best to stay connected and 'wired in', but it is really tiring for a brain born in the middle of the last century.  Information overload taxes the feeling of control that makes for a satisfying life.

 

As I contemplate the remaining years of my life, I have turned my attention to finding a place to live that is secluded and protected from the irrationality and complexity that seems to be all around us.  Our major populations centers are increasingly disorganized, violent and dangerous.  Density of population only seems to aggravate the confusion we are all feeling.  

 

So, the solution for me is to build a retreat in the mountains that will offer us solace and security.  Less people, simpler living style (with the advantage of instant communication) seems like the best alternative.  As I increasingly realize that there is little that I can do to influence the morphing of human society into something rather dystopian, the best solution is to focus on the meaning of my family, the people I love and a return to the natural rhythms of nature.  

 

I think therein lies the best option for my future.  So as my 'wa' quiets down, perhaps I will begin to comment on simpler things that become clear and have meaning.